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2023-06-30 - 9:37 p.m.

I am ready to die, and to think I might live another twenty years pisses me off. I am NOT suicidal, not at all, I am tired and I feel I have given all that I have, I feel like the spider Charlotte. I have given the best of myself and I wish everyone would just take what they want and let me rest. I have no more to give. Let me rest right where I lay right now until I drop off into a sleep so deep I can not wake and then they can burn me and put my ashes in a bottle and let me float to new and different places..., or just float, I don't need landfall. Float under new and different moons and suns and hazy skies. Float under stars and snow and rain. Float in breezes and winds and hurricanes. Up and down with the waves. Maybe a seabird will peck seaweed from my bottle... oh there I go giving again.

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