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2005-07-27 - 11:37 a.m.

There is this guy Bob, he is the office butt kiss. He is really pretty funny though, so for the most part I forgive him. The thing is, he is always dishing it out.

One day in the staff meeting he was going on and on about his sales, and how sorry they were, and how sorry he was.

Well when it came my turn to give my state of the department address...
I told everyone I would try, but that I was still choked up from Bobs presentation. Well this got a HUGE laugh, because, well Bob is Bob.
He loves to dish it out, so everyone congratulated me after the meeting for putting Bob on the receiving end.

Well... today at staff I got him again.
It was well calculated.

The Company president goes around the table at the end of each staff meeting and asks if everyone has anything to add. (By this time we have all made our presentations for sales etc in our departments.)

Usually we talk about events and new construction and whatever was not covered in the first 4 hours of the meeting.

I started my story like this:
"I was thrift shopping the other day... and if you think this means I need a raise, I do." (laughs)

The president smiles and says "noted".
Then I go on:
"I found this AMAZING historical artifact. It is a world record trophy, (I pull it out of the bag) for cow chip slinging. This is the real thing, as authenticated by this article taped on the back, and I did some additional research on the internet, and it is REAL, it is PRICELESS."

I look around the room and do a sweep with the trophy so that everyone can see the giant cow shit glued on the trophy. (Believe me I am getting some really strange looks, no one can figure where I am going with this and pretty much think I have lost my mind.)

"Well obviously since this is PRICELESS, the only way it would have ended up is in thrift shop is if the record holder was dead and had no family left to leave it to."

(The looks are incrediable, I can see people thinking: good, she's finally lost it and now there is a job opening.)

But I then say:
"I know you are all thinking what I thought when I found this... If the previous record holder is dead... then that must make Bob the new World Champion!"

THE CROWD WENT CRAZY as I walked over to Bob and shook his hand and handed him the giant Cow Pie.

The President said... after regaining his composure: "Shawn, if I know Bob... you had better be careful WHERE YOU STEP!"

(The Vice President was just by to tell me what a great joke that was..) I had to shrink my

Anyway, there were about 50 people in the room and the congratulations just won't stop! This is going to be a great day. lol

Incidentally, it was an authentic trophy that I found at Goodwill.


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