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2005-12-09 - 11:37 a.m.

I was telling Dennis that when I was a kid they were selling icecream bars in the lunch room at school on Fridays.
I was wondering out loud if this might have been some sort of fund-raising effort because it is a strange thing to do.
He asked me if I bought them, but of course I did not because I did not have any money. So many times I had to charge my lunch because I did not have money. The office ladies were so rude about this because of the extra paper work.
Interestingly enough, the day after ressurecting this thought, I read someone online entry about something similar- a school bake sale.
This guy went on to tell about how he bought some poor kid a brownie and the older kids tormented the poor kid for eating "shit". His view was that it was somehow his responsibility for being kind, but in truth, the older kids were going to be mean to this poor kid for whatever reason they could come up with.

I have surgery on Tuesday the 13th.
On my left wrist. I hope I don't drop dead from some weird complication.

Dennis has the foundation dug out and is working on the vertical rebar right now. Hopefully he will pour concrete soon and we will be on our way to a shelter.

Dad I still miss you, you must have known that I was going to miss you this much. You told me how much you missed your mother.

I remember one summer when I was walking around the house barefoot and you were snoozing on the couch. You told me that the sound of my footsteps on the wood floors took you back to your childhood because it was remminesient of your mother walking around the house cleaning. You joked for me to keep walking around.

I thought of you yesterday when I was out in the bitter cold. I remember you told me how much you hated winter and was dreading it. Then you passed away before it hit. You skipped out on winter.

I hate being an orphan, god I hate it.

I love you.


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