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2004-12-20 - 10:09 p.m.

Sad today.
I miss my dad.
I was driving home from work and thinking of him saying "the last thing I want to do is hold those two babies" He never got to do that last thing. I miss him so very much. When does that stop? I try to remember that he was suffering, and that he is probably where he wants to be. I wish I could know for sure. I am not afraid to die if I can see him again. I wish he would come to me in my dreams more often. The pain is always there. Always with me. I know he wouldn't want that. I don't know how to stop missing him. I feel so alone. He truly took a piece of me with him.
I miss you dad. I miss you so much.


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