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2003-08-04 - 2:24 p.m.

Today I worked at home. I have had a stack of things to take care of.

I am still very much in love with Dennis. I have been thinking of him all day.

I wish that I could be happy with our situation. I am afraid that someday I am going to walk away from it because he doesn't want to get married.

I don't know why that is important to me.

He insists that we will be together forever, but he doesn't like the idea of getting married. Is this a sign of his true feelings? Or is it really about the institution of marriage? My first husband didn't want to marry me either... we know how that ended.

My cousin the priest came to us at the family reunion on saturday and said that he would like to perform our marriage ceremony.

I was caught off guard, but when he walked away Dennis said that his mother would really like that.

He was drunk though... so I guess it doesn't really mean anything.

tic tock.... I feel my time is precious and I might be wasting time with Dennis.

Not because I don't enjoy every minute with him, but because I don't want to be single the rest of my life.

 

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