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2003-05-22 - 7:58 a.m.

It is soooo nice to be back in diaryland.

There as so many great writers here!

The young ones always amaze me.

It is very eye opening to view the different life styles featured here. It makes me really appreciate people.

I have to tell you about my Beau. His name is Dennis and he is the world to me.

I survived 23 years married to the wrong man and the grand prize for surviving such an ordeal was meeting Dennis.

One day I was especially sad and crying because I was working through my husbands 6th known affair.

I had kicked him out and was trying to rebuild my life. Searching through the internet I found the Matchmaker site and I put "humor" in for a desired attribute. Up pops Dennis. I laughed so hard reading his profile that my tears of sadness became tears of joy.

I knew he was too young to be interested in me (nearly 8 years younger.) And he listed that he was interested in someone that was healthy and active. This translated to "skinny" in my mind so I knew that this was not going to be a match.

I did want him to know how special he was, and to thank him for making me laugh.

My letter was pretty benign I believe. I told him that we were not a match, but that I wished the very best for him. I decided that I would be his friend if he would take me up on it.

Dennis wrote back that he enjoyed my letter and that he liked that we shared the same sense of humor. It was a matter of a couple of emails before we caught each other online at the same time and he gave me his phone number to call him.

After a wonderful conversation I offered to buy him dinner sometime. He liked the idea of a free meal and suggested that we do it immediately.

We met at a Mexican restaurant near my house and he was so easy to talk to. I had in my mind that he was a little kid, he was younger than I, and he had this boyish expression.

I asked to see his drivers' license so that I could be sure he was who he said he was.

(And so that I could better describe him to the police should the need arise.)

He surprised me by humorously asking: "And where is your I.D?"

Handing it to him, I prepared him for the age difference by saying: "I am old enough...(pause) to have been your babysitter." Dennis did not miss a beat and replied: "You still can, I brought diapers in my truck!" He leaned forward as he said this and flashed the most incredible smile that immediately stole my heart and haunted my

memory for weeks afterward.

I told myself to keep this in perspective; I was not at all his "type". I had my mind convinced that I was not interested in him, however my heart kept stealing the show. I found my heart looking for his messages on line. Living from one to the next. One Saturday I called him from the number on his business card. I got his voice mail and did not know what to say... I began: "Hello Dennis, this is Shawn, called to see how you were doing..." It was generic and boring and I suddenly panicked and decided to try again. "Hello Dennis, this is your stalker calling again...."

After hanging up I went to the computer and brought up my Horoscope: Do not leave any answering machine messages unless well thought out. WOW! I just knew that I had blown it!

If only I had read my Horoscope before!

Four days went by and Dennis did not return my call.


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